Avoid isolation. Start by realizing you are not alone; you are part of a community. You can help others, and they can help you to understand and cope. Join a support group. There, you will find answers to many of the questions you have.

Happiness is determined not by the problems you face, but by the way in which you deal with the problems you face. Commit to a positive attitude.

Enlist the help of willing family members and close friends to provide periodic breaks from your caregiving responsibilities.

Although we never contacted one, there are independent caregivers that provide professional help when family and friends are unable to meet your needs. This can be expensive, but it may give you your life back.

Professionals in senior living Communities & Resources& Resources, and especially those who provide memory care services, want to help others who are dealing with age-related issues. Find a way to get in touch, and you will be rewarded beyond your expectations. We were blessed when we met Laura, who adopted us and provided excellent advice over a two-year period.

There are things in life that you cannot control, but you do have some control over your thoughts and feelings. Meditation can help you to quiet distracting feelings and accept the anxiety of a caregiving life.

Maintaining perspective is critical. Writing a gratitude journal is cathartic and regenerative.

To deal with flagging patience, think about how much worse things could be.

If the stress becomes too great, find a therapist who can give you proper support.

In time, conversations with your loved one will turn banal. When repetitive, they are mind-numbing. Adult conversations are necessary to keep you stimulated and aware. Find a way to connect with others to make this happen.

A personal favorite: a picture of young Gayla is the background on my phone and a 1982 picture of our family on a Mexican beach is the wallpaper on my computer. I smile about our past lives every day.

Be proud. When you are confident that you are doing your caregiving job well, you feel that you are living up to your values.

If you want to be happy, help someone else.

I asked two of Gayla’s closest friends (Carol and Judy) to be emergency backups if something happened to Brooke and me. They have been exceptionally helpful throughout this experience and graciously agreed. This gave me comfort and fortunately was never required.

Look at caregiving as a personal growth opportunity and make it happen. It is also an opportunity to role model for your children.

Plan for your future. Someday you’ll need someone to take care of you.